Contemplating Questions

Having a break in my routine ushered me into a deep contemplation. A lot of time I become too busy to stop and consider, to contemplate the nature of my days, my daily activities.

Recently I've been thinking of going back home to settle down and take care of my family, or something like that. I also feel like I would like to travel more and see new happenings, or discover new perspectives. I love to learn new things.

As of now, my days have always been filled with a project for a Christian club on campus, meeting people to have fellowship, shepherding others, and just being spent on various services in the church.

Busy, busy, busy.

People, people, people.

Being Frank with the Lord

Yes, my life has been such. So this Spring break, while I was traveling, I took some time to inwardly pray and look for the Lord's leading.

Where should I be?

What should I be doing?

What's next?

I felt convicted. Maybe I didn't have enough burden to serve Him in a full-time way long-term. Maybe I didn't have the adequate heart to love mankind, unlike the Lord who burns with love for man. Maybe I'm a quitter.

In my fellowship with Christians on Campus throughout the years, I learned that I could be frank, genuine, and honest with the Lord. So instead of fabricating strength, I had to tell the Lord that I was clueless, unclear, and anxious but that I still love Him, I still trust Him, and I still want His very best.

The Lord's Answer

It was in a car ride. I had been waiting on the Lord, holding on to Him, holding on to the fellowship I've had with my companions.

I was reminded of a question that an older brother in the Lord mentioned to me recently, "Katherine, if you only have few years before you become more preoccupied, for instance, you get married and have children to care for, where would you see yourself in those few years?"

Contemplating that question, I realized that I knew exactly where I would like to be found doing. I want to be found serving the Lord with my whole heart, with my whole strength, and with my whole time.

I realized that it's not a sacrifice to serve Him in this way, it's a privilege and an opportunity to be grasped. As time is slipping away, who knows what's going to happen in the future, I would like to grasp the opportunity to waste myself upon Him right now.

At that moment, my inner being began to sing:
I've never been sorry to turn to the Lord.
I've never been sorry to give up my life.
I've never been sorry to give my whole life to the Lord.
I've never been sorry to follow the Lord. 

Comments

  1. This is very touching Katherine. Thank you for sharing such a sweet experience of the Lord :)

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  2. When you don't know what to do, do what you know how to do.

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    Replies
    1. That's a very interesting remark, Horng. Do you have a similar experience?

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  3. Oh yes been there. I was very active in a campus ministry. But after exactly 7 years, I knew I had to leave. Couldn't get a job in that area; doors were shut (by God!). So I left, found a job in another place, and then doors opened for me to go to another nation. Guess what, I am applying all that I learnt in the campus ministry now in a more diverse ministry. My approach is staying faithful to God + practicality (find jobs) + dare to venture into new things + keep praying! :) Sorry for such long comments :)

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  4. Oh, no problem at all. Yes, God always knows what's best for us. I always appreciate how His heart is always good toward us. We may not see it at the time but one day we will look back and thank Him.

    May the Lord continue to supply you in your pursuit of Him. I have a short question though. What made you choose the path of the campus ministry?

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  5. I grew spiritually in the campus ministry, so it is natural to have the desire to stay back and help out. But the question is this: Is that what God wants? The campus ministry can be a comfort zone. Guess God always has bigger things for us, if we are willing to step out in faith! :D

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  6. I appreciate your seeking for the Lord's leading. You're right, we never know what the Lord would lead us to but we just have to hold on to Him for the next step.

    I'm glad you're enjoying your new adventure in another country (is that right?). Much grace to you! :D

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  7. From http://www.agodman.com/blog/
    I enjoyed this blessed portion: "Being vitalized by the Lord to be living and functioning
    We need to be vitalized by the Lord and with the Lord – in the Lord’s recovery we need to be vital today! There needs to be “a revival of morale, of impact, of the dynamic motivation within us, and of vitality among us.” We should not be satisfied and content with where we are, but personally come to the Lord that He would save us out of our routine, habit, and tradition, and make us living and functioning members of the Body of Christ (1 Cor. 14:4, 31; also, Rev. 3:1, 14:4). Daily we need to come to the Lord to be vitalized by Him so that we may be the living and functioning members of His organic Body."
    May the Lord fulfill this word in me.

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    1. Thanks, B, for sharing that portion. Those words are very true and they seem to be the ultimate goal of our daily walk with the Lord.

      I like the part you quoted about the need of "a revival of morale, of impact, of the dynamic motivation within us, and of vitality among us."

      That's such a motivating, inspiring word! It's true the real revival that all of us need is the revival from within, to truly revive us from deadness to life!

      May the Lord fulfill this word in all of us, B. Thanks!

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  8. Yup in another country! Thanks!

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