Secret of Secrets - Until I Went into the Sanctuary of God
Please read my previous post: Secret of Secrets - Why Bad Things Happen to Christians?
A lot of times, this is my case. My faith would anchor me into trusting in His perfect heart toward us, that He is always right, that His purpose can never be thwarted. Yet many questions would still linger:
Why does my family have to pass through these complex sufferings? Why did one of my relatives die young? Why can my parents be successful in their business? Why do they have to always end up in such a dire situation?
Until I went into the sanctuary of God, then I perceived the secret of secrets. I became clear once I entered into this realm, the realm of my spirit and the church. Just like in the Holy Place mentioned in the Old Testament, within our spirit and in the church, there is the shining of the golden lampstand with the seven burning lamps of fire, of which the fuel (i.e., the olive oil) is God Himself. I learned that the secret of secrets is God's eternal purpose, His heart's desire, His arrangement to work out His heart's desire, and thus, which path we should take for the journey before us based on this purpose of God. He strips His seekers from the temporal, earthly, physical blessings so that we will not be distracted from the absolute enjoyment of God.
When I see this secret more clearly, I cannot help but utter these words to God:
"Whom do I have in heaven but You? And besides You there is nothing I desire on earth. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:25-26)
"But as for me, drawing near to God is good for me; I have made the Lord Jehovah my refuge, that I may declare all Your works." (Psalm 73:28)
The seemingly suffering psalmist in Psalm 73 went into the sanctuary and there was a revolutionary turning point, from a troublesome sight to a deep appreciation of God Himself as the rock of his heart and his portion forever. I felt like this became my experience as well. I'm slowly seeing that God is my portion and that there is no place for another kind of enjoyment.
I confess that I have not attained, yet by seeing, I am gradually entering into the experience of enjoying God as my ultimate portion. May the Lord continue to lead us to see the particular perception in the sanctuary of God, the secret of secrets.